The dream early this morning was typical. My old boss comes in to tell me that they have hired someone new. I knew that this person is my replacement, not my coworker. My duty is to train the new hire.
In this dream, the new hire is an ass. Not a lot of ways to say that. Think of every douche-bag thing you can put into a male character, that's him. Young, possibly a little bit drunk. Loud. Dumb. Cocky.
The boss sets up a conference or retreat of some kind. She tells me, in confidence, that my number is up soon, but I have to attend the conference with a good attitude. And then, something clicks. I realize that I don't actually have to do anything for anybody. Events where I am expected to sit and listen and pay attention, I rudely get up and walk out. It becomes a game. How much bad behavior can I get away with?
People stare. Their heads turn. And people wonder if I am crazy. Someone actually asks me if I need to go see someone. They don't expect this behavior, not from me. Are you ok? And I desperately want to tell them of this situation and my prison, but I can't tell them the truth.
It was around that time that I woke up, happy to not be dreaming that awful dream anymore.
I don't know much about dream analysis, but I do know my dreams tend to be ruminations over stuff that happens. And anytime a boss shows up in my dream, it is usually about work, keeping up appearances, and the stuff we do in order to pay the bills, whether we enjoy t or not.
This is the first time in this dream that I decided to stop playing the game. In other versions of the dream, I try to please. I try to preserve my position. I try to befriend the new hire, even though he is really awful. I try so hard and I get so frustrated. This is the first time my dream self has said "woah...not right. I don't have to stay and let people treat me this way."
I wonder if I am learning something new about life.